There are bad nights

Max had an awful night last night.
He was doing things he hasn't done in months. 
We give him 1mg of melatonin to help him relax and allow his body to sleep.  But last night, his poor mind was racing a thousand miles per hour.  He was up saying gibbering, echoing and moving for hours.  Will was up with him almost until 2am when his brain finally turned off.  I went in to check on Max and Will at 12am, and Max was very awake, talking 50 miles per hour.  Now when I say "talking" he repeats sounds, and letters, but they don't mean anything. 

This morning he was up at 7am.  So with very little sleep he is ready to face the day.  And Max is non-stop.  He doesn't rest.  So here is hoping for a good nap for everyone today!

I know there are going to be nights like this.  I know every child has bad nights, and bad days.  It makes me realize how far we have come.  How much good we are doing for Max because he doesn't have awful, frustrating, exhausting nights ALL the time.  I feel so blessed to have found out early that Max is Autistic so we can help him, and that our family can move forward. 

Early intervention is so important. 
Know the early signs of Autism.  
If you question something developmentally with your child ask for help and guidance. 
Go with your gut.  Especially Mom Guts.  They are powerful!
Ask for help, and don't be ashamed of your child. 
Helping your child will help you. 

Max is a champ.  He makes me a very happy and proud Mom. 

The Good Day

Max had a great day yesterday. 
A day of no tantrums is ALWAYS a good day.
Nothing huge happened.  It was just a good day.
He called me "Mommy" for the first time.  That was amazing.  He looked at me and said "Mommy!"  We hugged and he knew he did something very good.  
He woke up after a solid night of sleep.  We are still giving him melatonin each night, but that 1mg has changed our sleep and our life. 
He loves his new sand box, and asks to play outside multiple times during the day.  He is in his happy place.  He zones out.  He talks to himself in his own language.  It sounds a little bit like the language from Lord of the Rings.  He is so happy. 

We went to Costco.  There were no melt downs, no tantrum in the middle of isle 3, and he stayed by the cart the whole time.  In the checkout lane he pointed to Will and Said "Dad", and then looked at me and said "Mom" and then pointed at Dexter and said "the B!"  He likes to say "the B"!

We went to our neighborhood party and Max showed everyone his belly, touched a girls shirt that had flowers on it,  and spun in circles for almost an hour.  As he grows he gets more clumsy.  He trips over his feet and falls all the time.  He didn't interact with other kids who were playing but he did run around, smile, giggle and even ate some chips.  Chips are his new found food of choice. 

Max was happy.  He was himself.  His special self. 
These days make me realize how happy Max is.  How the smallest things are huge for him.  How going for a drive and pointing out every single MACK truck we pass is the best part of his day.

Who needs sleep?

There is a Barenaked Ladies song titled "Who Needs Sleep?"  I have found myself singing the lyrics a lot over the past year.

Who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
Who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
There's a guy who's been awake
since the Second World War.

When Max was born he slept. 

Max took awesome naps, he slept through the night very early, and this pattern of excellent sleep was great until about a year.  We have been told and through our own research that most ASD symptoms don't manifest until about a year.  There were some signs when Max was a baby, but sleep wasn't one of them.

Max would literally sleep anywhere.

At about 18 months things drastically started to change.  Max started staying up later and later and having a harder time falling asleep.  He was still taking a solid three hour nap in the afternoon which was a huge help to me because I was pregnant with Dexter.  By the time Max turned two his sleep became a huge problem.  He was struggling with falling asleep, would go into tantrum mode, and unless Will didn't hold him to fall asleep he wouldn't until 1 or 2am.  We didn't change our night routine, we kept everything the same. 

This is how most nights would end, Max crashed on the floor at 1 or 2am.

What changed?  What were we doing wrong?  Were we not strict enough?  Was Max taking advantage of the situation? What was wrong with our son?

We tried everything to get Max back on the schedule we had.  We considered it a small victory when Max would go to sleep before 11pm.  We got Max a big boy bed, had him stop taking naps, would get him up really early in hope that he would be so tired by bed time.  We tried everything.  But nothing was working.
Then Dexter was born.  A newborn and a toddler that wasn't sleeping was killing Will and I.  People kept telling us "he is just regressing because of Dexter, things will get back to normal."  Well normal didn't come back, instead things got worse.  Max was staying up until 2am most nights.  He would scream and cry and spin his hands in front of his face.  He couldn't turn himself off, he couldn't fall alseep.  Then during the day he was a zombie.  It was an awful cycle and this lasted for 6 months until we got some answers and some help.

There's so much joy in life,
so many pleasures all around
But the pleasure of insomnia
is one I've never found
With all life has to offer,
there's so much to be enjoyed
But the pleasures of insomnia
are ones I can't avoid.

Children on the ASD spectrum have a hard time sleeping.  A lot of ASD children do not produce the bodies natural melatonin to allow their bodies to relax and go to sleep. 80% of ASD children have sleep issues.  Once we learned this Max's sleep issues made sense.  He would self stimulate at night to try and calm himself down, but really he was getting more anxious and upset at the thought of going to sleep.  Max also was suffering from Night Terrors.  We needed help.  Our family was suffering.

Max now takes 1mg of melatonin drops every night.  This was suggested by the specialist we saw at Primary Children's in Salt Lake.  We found a slow release drop and it has been working great.  Max now goes to bed around 9-10.  Some nights earlier.  But he sleeps until 8am most mornings.  There are still bad nights, but they are not EVERY night.  He still gets night terrors, but again they are infrequent.  Our life has changed.  Will and I are happier, we are able to get things done during the day, we don't feel like we have been hit by a bus.  We are now capable of helping Max with other aspects of his life.