Progress is Progress

This time last year Will and I started to research Autism.  We started to wonder if our son was on the Autistic Spectrum.  In December  of last year Max had his 30 month well-check from his amazing pediatrician and it was determined that Max was on the spectrum and we needed to get him officially evaluated.  Dr. Adams said something to me that day that has stuck with me and I say it to myself daily: 

"Progress is progress no matter how big or how small."

He gave me a lot of guidance last year.  He sat with me alone and talked with me one on one.  He told me that mothering Max would be different, but it would be magical.  And he has been right. 

Max has made tons of progress this past year.  Some of the progress he has made seems small, and for the average child it might not even be noticed. 

Here are some of the small but MIGHTY progressions Max has made in the past year:

1.  He is occasionally speaking in complete sentences.  "Oh no, what happened?" and "What you doing?" are his current favorites.  He mostly says one or two words, but he tries new words all the time. 

2.  He is a great mimic.  He can memorize shows, movies, and songs like no one I have ever seen.

3.  He has made friends with his cousins and his little brother.  He makes eye contact with all of them.

4.  He says "Hi and Bye" on a daily basis. 

5.  He is sleeping with the help of melatonin, but he is sleeping. 

6.  He doesn't run into the street anymore, he stops at the end of the sidewalk.

7.  He is pretend playing.  This just started a few months ago, and progress has been slow, but he is doing it more and more. 

8.  He doesn't have daily 45 minute - 60 minute tantrums. 

9.  He can build a train track all by himself.  He interlocks the pieces and puts a whole track together.  This is a huge progression in small motor skills. 

10.  He can be separated from Will for long periods of time.  He understands that he will see Daddy again. 

11.  He says Mom now, which to me is the BEST progression of the whole year. 

12.  He has been learning how to drink out of a cup (without a top), we have had a lot of spills, but he is learning. 

Why all the progress?
Will and I entered his world.  We have been open to telling people about Max instead of being embarrassed about him. 
His teachers at school have helped us so much, without the therapists and amazing Autism specialists at Giant Steps we wouldn't be as far as we are now. 
Constant love and support from friends and family. 

Max is a very special boy who does make our life magical.  And we are so lucky!

The Chase

Max has been playing more and more people games.  Just this past month he has learned that chasing is really fun.  He used to just stand and watch others chase, look and go back to his own world, or would only run away.  Now he comes back and is the chaser. He is participating in the chase.  Dexter and Max LOVE this game, and of course play it any chance they get. They love playing around the couch.  Max has been loving having his Cousin Charley so close because she is also happy to play "The Chase" with him too.  Charley says "I'm going to get you" and Max now repeats it and says "Get you!"

It has been really fun to watch Max learn these last few months.  He is picking up on more social ques and becoming more confident in social settings.  Nursery at church is still hard, and he does things that make the other kids ask things like "what is he doing?"  Or "Why does he do that?"  But he is progressing.  And my doctor has always told me that progress is progress no matter how big or small. 

Pretend play

We have been in California for the last three weeks.
Cousins are the best.
Older patient cousins are amazing.
Max mimicked them.  He observed their behavior and watched what they did.  By the end of the three weeks he had more words and was even trying new foods. 
If this is ANY indication of how pre-school is going to be I am super excited.
Max is very lucky to have such good role models in his life.

Pretend Play

"Young children learn by imagining and doing. Have you ever watched your child pick up a stone and pretend it is a zooming car, or hop a Lego across the table as if it were a person or a bunny? Your child is using an object to represent something else while giving it action and motion. But this pretend play is not as simple as it may seem. The process of pretending builds skills in many essential developmental areas." -Scholastic Magazine


Max has never done pretend play until this last trip to California.  He is just starting, but any movement forward is progress and we get very excited.  He started pretending to be on the phone, pretending to brush his stuffed animals hair and even feeding a stuffed baby.  He knows what to do, and is pretending to do them.  He usually will come and "show" us his new found skill and then go back to playing with cars or trucks, but we get overly excited.

Children on the autistic spectrum have a very hard time in social situations and pretend play is very social.  Some children pick up pretend play quickly and others, like Max, don't.  He has never showed an interest in anything other than his cars and trucks and things that move.  

Pretend play is important for three major reasons:
1. Imitation skills. Typically-developing children watch how others play with toys and imitate them. For example, a typically-developing child might choose to line up blocks one next to the other the first time they play with them. But as soon as the typically developing child sees others build with the blocks, he will imitate that behavior. A child with autism may not even notice that others are playing with blocks at all, and is very unlikely to observe others' behavior and then intuitively begin to imitate that behavior.
2.  Symbolic play skills. Symbolic play is just another term for pretend play, and by the age of three, most children have developed fairly sophisticated tools for engaging in symbolic play both alone and with others. They may use toys exactly as they're designed -- playing "house" with a pretend kitchen and eating plastic food. Or they may make up their own creative pretend play, turning a box into a fortress or a stuffed animal into a talking playmate. Children with autism rarely develop symbolic play skills without help: They may enjoy placing engines on a track, but they're unlikely to enact scenes, make sound effects, or otherwise pretend with their toy trains.
3.  Social communication skills. In order to be successful in pretend play and imitation, typically developing children actively seek out engagement and communication, and quickly learn how to "read" the intentions of other people. Children with autism tend to be self-absorbed, and have little desire to communicate or engage with playmates.

Here is a great article on pretend play and Autism.

California and Cousin David.

Cousin Andrew graduated from High School.

Pretending with his trucks instead of just lining them up.

But always with a lot of concentration.

Pretending to fix things like Bob the Builder.

Pretending to work like Daddy.

Bottom line - Family rocks.  Learn is amazing.  Growing together as a family with understanding is so important.  Max is so lucky to have a supportive group in his life all over the country.