Tuesday, May 27, 2014

My gut feeling

I think the most asked question I get about Max is "When did you know something was wrong?"  This is a hard question to answer, because it wasn't a specific even but a series of things that made me wonder if my child was "different."

His first birthday.  Max was always a very laid back child.  He smiled and was quiet.  But being the center of attention was something he didn't like.  At his first birthday he screamed and cried uncontrollably at the first note of happy birthday.  It took him 15-20 minutes after the song was over to calm down.

This was a blog post from March 2012, when Max was 9 months old:
"Max has started clapping and it is darling.  If you say "Max Clap" he will.  He still doesn't like a whole room of people clapping and I still see him get a sad face during a clapping moment in Elmo's World, but he can clap now and that is what counts. "

Every mother compares.  And even though I was told not to, I still did.  Max wasn't saying words or even sounds at one, or even 18 months.  He wasn't waiving bye-bye or saying hi.
This was a huge indication to me.  But again, even my husband, said he will learn, he is only 18 months.

Nursery.  Watching my little baby stand in a corner and cry was heart wrenching.  He wouldn't interact with the other children, he would flap his hands and hit his hands against his head.  When snack time or singing time came around it was a huge melt down.

The tantrums.  He was physically hurting himself.

I just knew.  I don't know how to explain it, but I knew from the time he was very little that there was something wrong.  But now I know that it isn't a "wrong" but just a different way.  Max just learns different.

Today I went out alone with Max.  He didn't have his Dad, he was on a date just with his Mom.  We held hands, we made three different stops, and we looked at trucks.  He didn't tantrum, he didn't run away, he held my hand.  It was perfect.  My gut isn't hurting like it used to, I feel good about what we are doing for Max.  I feel empowered.  I am Max's Mom.  

I want to emphasize to go and get help if you think something isn't right.  Even if nothing comes of it, go with your gut.  I am going to do a post of the initial tests we filled out for Max and how they confirmed my gut feeling. 

1 comment:

  1. Gotta go with your gut! I have noticed, too, that when it's just me and Julianna, things are better. The more people, the harder time she has. Indivudual attention is key.